LIFE

To get you caught up if only a little bit I’ll shout out the highlights. I think my last post was just a sorry attempt to run my mouth (or fingers I guess) about the state of humanity and how it’s distressing me. But due to impenetrable contentment I have a hard time complaining about things lately. So with that let me just say that everything is going SO GOOD.



Everything.

Work rules, I love it. I don’t even mind being tired all the time(getting off work anywhere from 9:30-12am). I even get a “shift drink” after I’m off work. [Normally this is a shot of Chartreuse] How cool is that. I am getting along with everyone. The only thing is that sometimes when someone is in a bad mood (not pertaining to myself or anything I did specifically) I tend to get irritated and reflect my co-workers sour, stressful attitude. I have to work on that. But if someone IS mad about something I did specifically I don’t get mad I get hurt and emotionally upset because I’m so god damn sensitive. But I’m doing my best everyday and I’m making so much more money than I was (only working 1 or 2 days a week) so my bank account is flourishing and I’m saving all of it. With the exception of buying a car on Thursday!

Tax return! It’s so exciting to get a tax return. Yesterday I went to deposit my paycheck and when I got my receipt with the balance on it I about screamed. I’m about $1120 richer than I was last week! Woohoo. (Now maybe, hopefully I’ll get a stimulus check in the mail soon?) So with this money I’m going to try and find a car. My step mom Cheryl’s ex step-son Ryan is going to a used car auction and invited me to come along to see if I can’t score a good car to help me save some time in my busy chaotic life. I am still going to bus to school and work because it’s easy… but it’s for all the in-between stuff, namely the Gym and running errands, where having a car would help a sista out. And let’s not forget being able to go see my amazing family when EVER I want. I am SO excited, I’m so sick of not being able to see them as often as I possibly can. It’s not right I need them, more of them!

Family- Bad news. My little sister Kyndall got in her first accident. Her brakes locked up on her when she had to slam on them because a gigantic truck decided to stop abruptly on a yellow. It had been snowing and she slid right into him. She wasn’t hurt too bad, but had burns on her forearms from the deployed air-bag and her sun roof flew off. She got her first ride in an ambulance too. Poor babes. Well luckily she was able to sell it for blue-book price on craigslist. So I’m keeping my eyes out for her at the car auction too. Phew.

New Camera-bad luck: So for my birthday mom surprised me with a new Samsung camera from RadioShack! I was so excited until I tried to start taking photos! I would be able to take photos as long as I didn’t change the settings, as soon as I would take the flash off or anything, the screen would freeze up, none on the buttons would work and in order to do anything at all I had to pop out the battery and then push the power on button a few times. No fun! So Mom, Max and I went to Costco to get me another Casio Exilim I found a green one!!!!! SO excited!!!!! Until I got it all set up went to work took pictures, seemed to be working ok; until I changed the setting to no flash and it did…get this…THE SAME THING AS THE SAMSUNG! What the HELL!? So I’m trying to work out the kinks with voodoo magic and positive energy, and sometimes it works and sometimes it freezes. I have 9- days to return it…so we shall see. Also! On the note of repelling technology my ipod has been fussy lately. I’ll have to push the pause button for an ungodly sum of time before it will shut off. And when I choose a song or artist it will all of a sudden default play ALO’s “how long has this been going on” not that I don’t like that song, but it comes on involuntarily when I blatantly selected something else quite frequently …why!

School rocks. I am scooting along nicely. Winter quarter’s coming to a close and it’s about time for me to sign up for Spring classes but I am a little panicky because I leave for Hawaii a week before the end of the quarter and that will most likely put a damper on my finals week. So I have to do some figuring out quick. I am getting pretty good grades though, nothing is stressing me out. I feel like we’re being crammed in BIO because we’ve blasted through 5 chapters in the last week and 2 days. But I find it all very interesting and exciting so it’s not too unbearable. We had a two hour lab today and have a test on Friday and a final next Friday. I’m very nervous, but luckily I have an amazing study buddy who happens to be quite acquainted with Biology. And he’s really cute and says sweet things too. SCORE.

I have missed out on going to the gym all last week because I was so busy. Transportation to and from the gym is retarded and it has been snowing and frigid out and I really don’t want to risk getting stuck in that busless vortex in the cold and risk being late for work. So I’m sure I’ll be able to pick up the slack when I get a break between quarters and if I get a car soon. :)

Mom and I have been getting along alright. I just have to try extra hard not to get annoyed with her or pissed off. We did a fashion show with some other friends of Camille’s (my friend who owns a designer boutique in the junction) I was so freaking tired but I pulled through. All the clothes I had to model where NOTHING I would wear in real life, so I was sort of uncomfortable but I rocked on through it, wine drunk and in high heels, go me! So that was neat, and I got to meet a lot more West Seattlites and be social.

The only thing I’m left with for this update, bringing you all up to speed, is my irrevocably exploding heart. Love is ripe in the spring air you guys. I received the most heart stopping, jaw dropping unbelievable birthday gift in the mail yesterday from Kale. It took a while to come and for a second I lost hope that it was going to show up at all but now I have it and let me just say that I am the happiest girl in the world! Never has anyone put so much love in an envelope before. I won’t boast too much about it all because I don’t want to crow about how I’ve found the Holy Grail and this and that and that sappy crappy corny love stuff. I’m very inspired and so alive. I feel so good about the future and am so excited I got MY man. Ok. So there’s that.

HAVE A GOOD WEEEK!

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Picture Post

ok i've been working on this little by little all last week and just finished it today.
I have alot to update but I'm diving into my homework for now. maybe later.

love you all!

A picture of you in your room


A picture with someone you don't actually like.

thanks b:)lol

A picture on your birthday.


The youngest picture you can find of yourself in digital form.


A picture of you in one of your favorite outfits


A picture of you making a goofy face.


A picture you might have edited to make yourself more attractive.


A picture of a night you regret.

Why?!

That’s why

A picture of you truly being yourself.

The most recent picture of you.


A picture of you being absolutely ridiculous.


A picture of you showing off your new hair cut/color.

dreadgernerationnumerouno

A picture of a time in your life that's over & you wish wasn't.

:( she's grown up now...(in case you wondered why i chose this pic)
See?
A picture of a time in your life that's over & you couldn't be more thankful.


A picture of you when you were anything but happy

(i have a habbit of taking pictures of myself during breakdowns...)

A picture that you had no idea was being taken.


A picture of when you were a different person than you are now.

A picture of you with someone you love.

Sassy

A picture of how you'd like the world to see you.

Dirty

A picture of a time when everything was changing.

:)

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An effort at least.

So since something in cyberspace gobbled up my long rant-ish comment to Randy’s “Cement jungle” blog post last night (or maybe I was severely distracted and never posted it…that could very well be) anyway I ranted and it felt good. I love reading about people being disgusted by what is going on around us. People who recognize we are all slaves to corporations, that we are being manipulated and lied to –people who just know in their heart of hearts that that isn’t was life is about and happiness is so much more simple and far less materialistic refresh me and remind me that I’m not alone in my revulsion for society and ambition to someday immerse myself in a culture (either find one or create one) of like-minded people who shun such a society which consumption has to be artificially stimulated (people and products manipulated, brainwashed etc) in order to keep production going [growing], a society where it’s values lead us to pursue false solutions that only end up making problems worse, a society that is so preoccupied with money-oriented growth that it diminishes security and distorts the wholesome enjoyment and even the very meaning of life!
Now, I’m not claiming to know what the meaning of life is. I’m just saying that I don’t think that this is it. We went wrong somewhere. And now it’s seemingly hopeless (and more and more so as time goes by) It’s depressing. I am claiming, however, that our potential as humans has got to extend far beyond all of this –constant strive to grow bigger get richer, produce more and find more ways to manipulate the masses. The answer (to me at least) seems incredibly straightforward when you put it this context: dismantle a bit and focus not on expansion but instead on just living, simply living on the Earth. Weird, huh?

I have more to say, much much more... but I’m strapped for time, distracted, too happy to be pissed off about it, not in the mindet to vent... and gotta run if I’m gunna make it to the gym, work out, and shower before trying to bus to work by 5:30(the gym is in a bad area for bussers : ().
Ah I can’t wait to playlivelovegardenprosper our community that shuns superficial happiness. Life is SO great you guys…---hey we didnt get hit by an asteroid.... yeah an ASTEROID!

Wish me luck on winning the lotto!!I got two tickets the other night- I’m up on my luck, in high spirits, in love and I’m oh so prosperous!

peace

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"The best is yet to come"

So I blew up this morning. Completely LOST it on mom. Fault being a: pms and b: a psychological, mind block. c: having no capacity to submit after I’ve lost the battle and d: the leaning tower of dishes in the sink. Just give up and shut up (even though I know she’s wrong and I’m right…mom’s just better at arguing than I am) –I always get so pissed off that I can’t hold up a good argument, I’m just too busy taking everything personally and getting defensive. Then later when I’m cooling off by myself with my face shoved in my tear-soaked pillow I think of understandable intelligible things that I could have said to maybe prove my point a little more maturely and productively. But today I cracked and instead of thinking of things I coulda shoulda woulda’s I just came undone (in as good of a way as possible). After mom said what she had to say and I was too upset to yell back so I threw a banana on the ground and went to Jades room (I don’t like to call it my bedroom). My eyes and lips swollen from blubbering, I cried into my pillow a little while longer, dragging it out by thinking of a bunch of other non-related sad things --since I already started I might as well get a good full cry session in. (therapeutic)

Long story short, I did the dishes! After they’ve been sitting and multiplying by the day in the sink…my frustration and anger every time I look at them and think about how much it bothers me and a light rage severe anger consumes me and the LAST thing I would think of doing is cave in and wave a white flag, especially if she pulls the “I do dishes 8 out of 10 times”. It’s here that I automatically question MY sanity; do I hallucinate cleaning the kitchen every other day? Am I blocking out ever having seen her rinse a dish and put it in the dishwasher? And then I had an epiphany. I can just take solace in knowing, and believing that I’m right. And there’s no sense in trying to fight an impossible war, screaming at the deaf. So instead of stomping off throwing a banana after arguing… deciding to get over-the-top pissed. I will just bow down smile and wave the flag. I came out of my room, smoked a bowl on the porch with the cat, plugged my ipod into moms new sound system she bought yesterday at Radio Shack (along with a new camera to replace mine that broke after New Years…) I blasted Sublime, put some water on the stove to boil and got going… took SO long and I cried and winced the whole time. I poured the boiling water into my tea-steeper and opened the cupboard for a coffee mug. There was only one clean cup and it was shoved in the corner of the top shelf. I pulled it down and put it on the counter and when I was pouring my tea I read the cup and laughed out loud.



Every little thing is gunna be alright. Today surprised me, in a good way.
I understand that this might not make much sense, but that's okay I feel good. Point-of-post being, I grew up a little today and shed some old skin. so that's that.

...breathe out.

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I'm twenty one

(fyi: i started this post on friday and couldnt finish..so ...it might be confusing.. I don't know...)I’m finally 21! I apologize in advance for the lack-luster of this post. I’ll do my best to put forward all the energy I can possibly muster (yes, I do have a proper hangover). So here it is:
Bekah came over Wednesday after breaking up with the guy she’s been seeing. (I know it’s hard babe, but you did the right thing!) So that was cool, and she proposed that we go to the Admiral Theatre to see Twilight (again). Of course I was super stoked and we wandered up the road and got WAY too much popcorn and soda, we both had to pee so badly during the movie, and I have a junk food tummy ache. After the giggling and gasping like the geeks that we are through the whole movie, it was 11pm by the time we got out, one hour before I’m legal. So I went next door to the 7-11 and bought a bottle of wine, and got carded…had a phantom tingle of anxiety and excitement as I showed him my ID! With an hour left of being 20 I purchased alcohol! Hehe. I ran into three of the girls that I used to work with at Luna Park Café in the parking lot, they were in a car and when she rolled down the window I saw she was rolling a b and when I asked what they were up to she said, “smoking a blunt and going through the car wash.” I found that so amusing for some reason. That’s SUCH a great, innovative idea! Haha

So when we got home with our cheap (but legally bought) bottle o’ wine mom, Bekah and I had a toast. Bekah and I snuggled into bed and we tried to keep our eyes open long enough to watch “In to the Wild” but I couldn’t stay awake. I missed my English class in the morning because I was too tired (I missed it again today too. naturally) but we made it on the Southcenter bus just barely! That was nice to have Bekah there for the official “Happy birthday” I love you girl! OOOOH she drew me the most amazing picture ever, it’s a pic of me in a bikini top and I look damn good! Heh.

Well school was fairly painless. When I was bussing home after trying to write a paper for 2 hours I got off early so I could go to the post office and drop off something special for someone special, there was a VERY pissed off man in there trying to mail A TON of shit and he was yelling at the Asian woman behind the counter trying to understand the postal service system, and failing to miserably. There was also a very perturbed woman yelling at someone frantically in the back of the post office too. So finally I got up to the counter mailed me package and ran out the door just to see my bus drive past me. So I walked front eh Alaska Junction all the way to my house carrying all my bags and books and wah wah wah. So I got all cleaned up and ready for work, watched a little Bill Hicks And then off I went. It was SUPER busy in there, but a good shift all together. At about 7:45 Dave (one of the owners) Sounded an alarm that scared the buhjesus out of me and probably everyone else in the bar. The first thing I thought was that this is an air raid drill and I had no idea we even had an alarm system in this place! Then I look over and Dave’s holding a megaphone to his mouth and says, “I’d like everyone to say happy birthday to Sydney, she’s finally 21!” and Mikey poured everyone on shift a shot of Jim Beam (Quinn helped me decide what drink to choose by telling me that “if I wanna be a ‘bad bitch’ to choose JB”) so I did, and it was SO COOL , it was a cheers of about 10-12 people all saying happy birthday to me! Like I said, I love my job. So mom came and met me when she was on her way home from work and I got to clock out and go sit at the bar for a legal drink. My first one was a DIRTY vodka martini, and it was delicious! Next I paced myself with a cup of water cause mom had hardly drank any of her margarita (because she was talking to a man who was hitting on her :( as usual when she comes in to the bar) ANY way finally after sitting alone for a while Mikey just took it upon himself to start shellin’ out the drinkys for me (possibly cause he sensed my boredom?) so I had an “Otterpop” which is a bunch of different fruity vodkas and some orange juice. Then I had the next drink that I have been drooling over since I started working there.. a bloody mary!! Mikey made me THE BEST bloody marry I have EVER HAD! Those will be habit forming I know it! Anyways I finally got tired of sitting there while mom flirted with this dude, so I called my man and talked about my exciting day. Then my friend Rose (who also works at W5) and her husband came in and sat next to me. So I got to have my first bar conversation! We talked about ‘lifeboat ethics’ and ska and reggae and ska music and this and that. I was trying my hardest not to turn my head too far see what was going n with mom and dude. I was doing ok until Mikey was like, “no making out at the bar!” grreeeaat mom.


Anyways let’s not talk about that any more. So it’s Saturday now. I am finishing a post that I started at school yesterday, but I had to go to math and when I came back to finish the internet was down so now I’m at the library. I woke up after sleeping WAY in finally. (It was a tiring week) I ignored the dishes mom has been piling up (grr) and grabbed my stuff and wet to the gym. It was nice and relaxing. So I have about two hrs to kill before heading to work…and I really want to write more but this key board really sucks and I have to re-type letters and that is annoying. Hope every one is happy and has a GREAT weekend! Much love.

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Happy Weekend, and mental health day Monday!

Howdy bloggers! Well I survived my first week working 4 nights a week at the bar, waking up for school (almost everyday) turning in all my assignments (mostly) and made it to the gym 3 days! Working weekends is quite a alternate universe than working weekdays, so much more work…but that just makes time fly by. I love my job; I am so lucky to have landed this! It’s perfect for being a full-time student and SO easy to bus to and from. Not to mention the awesome people I work with and how I have so much fun and sometimes forget that I’m even getting paid to socialize and pour water for people and clean glasses and clear tables and…okay well it doesn’t SEEM like work. Haha. Saturday after work somehow my texts just stopped working.. I could send them but it wasn’t until late last night that I had a flood of text messages from through the weekend including important ones from Bekah concerning our plans… But we learned out lesson didn’t we B? So unfortunately Bekah couldn’t make it to Olympia with me on Sunday… It’s SO hard to bus to oly on Sunday io found out the hard way when I was stranded at the 512 park and ride with no sign of an Olympia bound bus for 2 + hours. Luckily I have amazing friends and they drove all the way up to pick me up. I even got to chat with Kale for a little while before he left Anchorage so really, the wait was very pleasant. Suzye even had a hot (scalding) thermos full of tea waiting for me when they got there! (which I poured down my chin/cleavage/torso) OUCH! What a Sydney move though, are you surprised? Didn’t think so…lol.

Well, when we got back to their house I opened Awesomely wrapped gifts from Randy and Suzye!! Randy wrote me a birthday poem and it was decorated with amusing vice clippings. First I opened the gift wrapped with naked-people-jumping-on-trampolines. It was a book of post-cards with art by Franco Accornero called “Unbridled Passion”. Can’t WAIT to use those. Next I opened Randy’s cute little box Garnished with some pungent greenery. Inside
was the coolest necklace I’ve ever seen! I honestly swear that I saw it, or something similar, once upon a time in a magazine and yearned for it deeply. Thank you! I got SO MANY compliments on it tonight at work! And Suzye also gifted me a jar of her AMAZING blackberry Jam!! SO FLIPPING FRIGGIN GOOD GIRL! Thank you both SO MUCH for being SO AMAZING!! They also dished me up the dankest homemade cheesecake with a candle, they sang, I closed my eyes and made a wish then blew it out! So my wish is going to come true (In June)!

Nick got there and we all ventured off to get some grub at a cool little place downtown, then went to a bunch of cute little shops (having lived in oly for 4 months I hadn’t ever gone downtown besides for the street fair thing) we came home and picked up Jeremy and Chris and we had some sake-bombs and left to go bowling. After waiting for about an hour we finally got one lane to share between 6 people…gutter ball city!!! After one game Suzye and I gave up and let the boys play another game while we went and gossiped in the car. Needless to say I didn’t make my last Tacoma-bound bus and had to stay the night. We watched freaks n geeks and veg’d out on jelly beans and pasta & passed out. In the morning Su made me oatmeal and we watched freaks and geeks some more till randy got home and we watched TPB. Nick was heading up to Gig Harbor so I hitched a ride with him to Tacoma where my bro picked me up. We went to his house and played Guitar HeroII till my arms and fingers where numb then we brought my tired ass home. He gave me my OLD box of photos that I haven’t seen in a WHILE! I love looking at old pics. I’ show you some good ones. One is Suzye and I 4 or 5 years ago when we had a Valentines Day get together at her house. One is Suzye and Randy outside of neighborhood market when Suzye and I lived in the 6th and Anderson house she’d go visit him on smoke breaks. Cuties. Then there’s one of me with my long hair shortly after my mom combed my first generation of dreads out….



Okay, well there it is! In as much detail as I can muster for now. I have a bunch of house chores to do and then I’m heading to bed. I got let out of work early today because it was DEAD! On Thursday (my actual b-day) I get to stick around after I get off work and have a drink AT THE BAR! How cool is that? I am a little disappointed though… I always thought that my 21st would be SO INSANE. But I’m not doing anything at all, working and having one, maybe two, drinks and then going home and sleeping to wake up for school on Friday. Then I work Friday and Saturday, and then hopefully can arrange something for Saturday night!? Ashley said she wants to buy me a drink so it looks like it’s her n’ me ringing in the big official “@-the-bar 2-1!!” That’ll be cool. Su and Randy you guy should come if you want!!?

Do I look twenty one!?
Okay I’m out!
Much love!

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Take a deep breath.

Yesterday’s mucky muck was revamped tenfold just in the nick of time. Just as I was about to lose all hope for reviving of any sort of tolerable mood before going to work Kale saved the day! It’s so refreshing to know I have such amazing people in my life who build me up when everything else seems to be breaking me down. Suzye even called me after work and I got to vent to her and Randy about the callous task of shaking off sticky situations and cleaning up infuriating messes. She in turn got to vent about her latest stalker incident, (so not right girl, I’m so sorry –start leaving the house in a different disguise every day!) Our venting turned into amplified excitement and sheer joy for life, love and our Sunday reunions. We revelated the idea that red wine is the ultimate study buddy (and you know you haven’t had enough until your mouth is engulfed in various shades of purple!)
The bar was so busy last night! It reminded me of my first day working when the West Seattle Street Fair was in full swing on a Saturday and there was no less than a 10 party long wait list for five hours straight! I was continuously thanking my lucky stars for the last minute intervention/pep- talk from Mr. Perfect because the shift would have been hell for all parties involved, I dare not even imagine! Instead of emanating a bitter attitude I had the happy love buzz mind-set that didn’t even break its stride when a pint glass shattered in my hand in the ‘coldie fridge’. Best believe I had a smile on my face as Nacario (one of the line cooks) helped put bandages on my bloody fingers!

I tried to peal my eyes apart long enough to poop out an acceptable paper that was due at 8am this morning. Most of it I wrote at school yesterday and was pretty satisfied with the shape it was taking. I was so exhausted, starving and had no red wine to help me take on the fiasco with an open mind (or open eyes). I will fix it and draft it over the next few days so I can be ready to trade in when my instructor returns it to me with red question marks and exclamation points all over it and little notes in the margin saying, “it’s obvious you pulled this conclusion out of your ass, it makes no sense, where did the unicorns come from?!” haha. Oh well. One thing I didn’t get done is my rewrite of my thesis… but that is an assignment I refuse to pull out of my ass. So ill finish that before work beckons today and E-mail it to him with an explanation along the lines of “silly me I forgot this on my printer before I left for school this morning, here it is have a great weekend!”
So tomorrow morning I’m helping my brother out driving his car back to his place from the shop. We have to do it early so I can be back in West Seattle by 1:45pm to work at Camilles for her while she goes to work at the mission, and then Mom has to come take over for me for the last hour because Camille’s closes at 5 and I have to be to work (a block away) at 4.

I’m excited to be working weekends because I get to see even more crazy people out on the town on their weekends getting wasted and partying. People say the damndest things, I’m going to start quoting people and writing Memoirs of a Hostess at West 5. I can see myself coming to superlative insight on social/psychological behaviors, and having epiphanic revelations to inspire writings and ideas that will make me famous.



Well in other(bizarre) news:
I was reading the morning news and stopped on this headline: Prison inmate attempts to amputate his penis…..eek!
TTFN

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