Execution style update: I will just list the major things going on lately in the life of Sydney, things I’m doing, not doing, wish I were doing, soon going to be doing etc etc.
-Books/reading: I returned the gigantic stacks of books to the library. I was a little too ambitious thinking I could possible read them all during spring break. Oh well. I have some books that friends have lent me that I need to read. The books from Suzye, my manager Toni and the one from my Biology teacher last quarter. I’m still working on “Let The Right One In” (from Toni )but I left it at Kelly’s last weekend, and there’s really no telling when I can get it back unless I dedicate an entire day to go hunt him down on the bus...and really… I don’t have that kind of time on my hands. Grr.
-School “spring Break”: Well school starts back up on Monday. It’s almost like I haven’t gotten a spring break. At first I was waking up every morning at 7:30 or 8:00 am but just now, at the tail end of my hiatus from early morning classes peeling my ass from bed at the break of day I’m beginning to sleep damn near until noon! I still have to go buy my books. I’ll probably have to do that today if I want to have a chance at getting them for used book prices otherwise I’m gunna be shelling out another 500 bucks like last quarter. I’ll be taking Philosophy and Psychology and Math this quarter. I have to let all my teachers know that I need to take my finals a week prior to the end of the quarter because I’ll be leaving for Hawaii a week before finals. (I’m VERY excited about this fact actually)
-Work @ West 5: So while work is pretty easy going and I’m stating to settle in comfortably to my new full schedule there have been some tribulations I’ve been climbing the hill to finally get over.
Being made fun of: There’s a boy (a very nice boy who I like just fine as a person), M.Doyle, who is definitely some one who isn’t in my realm of people. His favorite band is Pink martini and hates everything that isn’t Lilly Allen. He is a tiny boy who looks like a east coast college prep Buddy Holly (take a look at the recent Ralph Lauren adds for and e.g.) He’s very gay and very metro, which I have NO problem with, believe me. I am a very open minded individual and I love everyone! It’s when people start knocking me for no reason and being callous just because…well for no other reason than that I don’t look ideal I guess. The first thing M. Doyle did was approach me during a pretty busy Tuesday night rush with a dollar bill and a napkin and says, “Wanna do me a favor?! I’ll give you a dollar!” and so I say, “yes of course, keep your silly dollar what’s up?”
This is when he held out the napkin and was like, “just put your gum in here!” said with a fake sarcastic smile. Now, I had JUST put this gum in my mouth. The flavor only lasts about 15 minutes’ tops anyhow so there was NO way I was going to spit it out. So I say, “no that’s ok, why would you want me to spit out my gum?” to which he replied, “Didn’t your parents every teach you that it’s rude to chew gum? I mean, you look so tacky, like a cow chewing hay or something!” (*Insert over-exaggerated chomping impression*) the funny thing is; Jason (the bartender) and Ryan (other server) BOTH had the SAME gum in their mouths. So I will repeat this, I love people; but when someone rubs me the wrong way.. I scrutinize them layer-by-layer. I loved this boy until now. And what he did next pushed me to a level that I hate to be at especially with a co-worker. He went from calling me rude and cow-like to trash talking my whole appearance…a.k.a. my dread locks.
So we are standing there and M. Doyle is just sorta starting at me, which I notice through my peripherals and acknowledge his stare with a smile. (I’m a nice person – people can stare, it’s cool) he then reaches out to my tresses with his thumb and forefinger his 3 other fingers (pinky farthest) extended straight out, as if he where about to pick up a slug or a dead rat. He takes one of my locks in his fingers and quickly drops his hand and shrugs his shoulders. “when are you going to cut your ‘braids’ and have real hair?”
Okay, a.) My hair is not fake. and b.) I didn’t get dread locks with a set date to chop them off. So I say, “I don’t really plan to cut my hair off man.” …. “but it’s so dirty, did you hear that Bob Marley had about 10924o5 different species of lice in his dreads when he died!?” I countered his dense comment with a simple, “I don’t have lice though.” And he just kept going arguing with me about how much better I would look if I just had ‘normal’ hair. While I left it at that and didn’t say anything else I was pretty offended. I don’ even know if offended is the right word. I could care less what anyone thinks of my personal style because it’s me who has to walk the planet looking like this, not them. So I don’t go around asking people like M. Doyle, “So, when are you doing to get contacts and take off those prissy suspenders, stop shaving your facial hair and unbutton the top button of your pristinely pressed button-up?” I don’t say this because I don’t care, I acknowledge that people have their own styles, and present themselves in a way that they feel most comfortable. I don’t EVER wonder why people dress the way they do, or have certain hair-dos or anything like that; and until now I was somewhat blind to the fact that people actually do.
So last night I was just standing there, talking with Quinn. She reached out and touched my hair and asked if I had gotten them done because they look really tight and good. I was shootin’ the shit with her about little dread cosmetics that I had gotten such as special dread conditioning oil and this and that. So this is when M. Doyle walks in to the conversation and I knew what was coming. “I just think she would be so much prettier with her normal long brown hair, don’t you?” My jaw dropped with disbelief! Why does he care? Why can’t he just shut up about it, keep his closed-minded judgments to himself? I very rarely get defensive because people’s opinions really don’t mean that much to me, surprised? Didn’t think so. But let me say too, that people don’t normally voice their rude opinions to me (or to anyone for that matter; it’s just not nice! Didn’t you’re mother ever teach you that? If she didn’t than Disney movies could have “if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all”-Thumper – Disney’s “Bambi”).
So I get defensive, “Why do you care so much, do you want me to fit a mold of a ‘pretty girl’ so that you can solicit me for sex, so that you can find me more attractive? What the heck gives man? Why do you care?” Quinn took her leave, sensing the thick tension in the air. M. Doyle responded with, “No (*looking at the ground*) but I would give you 50 dollars, and there’s a pool going so you would get a lot of money..” (so basically he just informed me that when I’m not around my co-workers stand around talking about my hair? What the hell?) then he says, “but, do what you want, just don’t listen to me I’m old fashioned (no you aren’t you pompous closed minded prick) or what Mikey says or Ryan or Jason…” So basically here he’s telling me that they all hate my hair openly to each other. COOL but the difference there is that no one ever says anything about it to me but him. So I stomp off and choke back tears (I’m a sensitive girl and my feelings just got hurt.) anyways Toni eventually asked me what was the matter, and I just told her that I need to not let what M. Doyle says get to me anymore. She must have said something because later he was like “sorry I made fun of you earlier, I’m just old fashioned and I like ‘natural’ I guess.” And then I said something like “it’s okay dude, what you think is natural and what I think is natural are complete and polar opposites, so we should just not talk about it anymore.
And that’s the end of that rant and rave… GAH
Working 5 nights in a row: is really a very tough thing to do at the bar. I’m working Wednesdays for Quinn because (she said) Dean is out of town so she has to work for him and she doesn’t like to work 5 days in a row. So without telling her that that, in turn, would take away my day off causing me to have to work Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday (five nights back to back) I said I would do it. But last night I saw both her and Dean at the bar, he’s not out of town, and I sorta feel dooped. Oh well even if she had asked me to just take her shifts for her because she wasn’t to spend time at home with her man I would have done it –I need all the hours I can get if I want to save up. SO THAT’S that.
(sorry for the big unload there) So anyways…I digress; moving onward.
-My love: Kale is the most amazing man in the universe. And he’s mine. I haven’t felt such feelings in all my life about another person. All we have right now is e-mail, snail mail and phone… but we use our resources to there fullest and are able relay a lot a’ love! I can’t lie though, the distance sometimes wears on me and I get a little on edge. I miss him so much it hurts sometimes. I can’t imagine how the ladies did it, when their men go off to war and all they had was a glisten of hope that maybe a letter would come in the mail reassuring that they are safe, for now. But he’s only teaching in a small village in bush AK. Not in constant immediate danger, and I get to call him every night after work. He’s coming home in 43.5 days and counting. Each day I reach a new high in my despondency and have to channel the longing into happy excitement. Which works sometimes; other times I’m sort of a pill to be around, I NEED him. Not joking. I sent him a package that I spent a lot of time on, it makes me happy when he gets to see the fruits of my love labor, what I do with my time when I’m supposed to be doing numerous other things, but can’t because I’m a love cripple who has only the capacity to sit and think about my love and make things for him haha. It’s all right I’m cool.
-Work out & fitness: Gym has been such a bitch to get to without a car and limited time between sleeping in and going to work. While mom was in Texas (Chris Cornell Concerts) I was able to blast music and work out in the living room. But she’ got home on Wednesday.
-Friends and chillin: Not a lot of this going on. I’ve been trying to collaborate with Ashley and have some quality girl time. Her and Jeff broke up :( so she needs some love. It doesn’t help us much since I don’t have a car and I work nights, and she works early mornings mostly -and lives in Lynnwood. Bekah’s preoccupided with sewing and costume making and what not for her anime convention so I haven’t seen much of her. Did I mention that I work 5 nights a week too. Yeah.
-Family and quality bonding time: Missing my sisters and brothers insanely.
My cousin Kelly got stranded in Sea-Tac because of the Volcano that’s keeping Anchorage, AK under an ash cloud. I went and hung out with her on Sunday. Went shopping, spent way too much money. Dad and Maxwell met up with us for dinner on the waterfront...(see previous post for pictures)
Dad always tells me he’s going to come in and see me at work and get a drink when he’s in Seattle. I’ll go into the closet to check my messages and stuff and there will be one from him every once in a while saying “he Syd we’re in the area we might stop by for a drink” and this excited me only to be really disappointed every time he doesn’t show (he’s told me this on about three different occasions and he’s NEVER been in the bar yet) I should just stop getting my hopes up when he says that because he never ends up coming in. Thanks dad.
-Plant update: they’re a growin :)
-The Great Kombucha debacle of 2009: battling mold!! I had to throw out 3 layers of baby SCOBY and start over with the mother due to mold. I have to cycle this mother for about 4-5 weeks before it’s safe to start bottling. What a learning experience though. I’m so stoked to start making my continuous brew.
-Recent bad/weird luck: dropped phone in cat water. Tore thumb nail bed on plastic fork box. Woke up to a plume of feathers, some in my nose and mouth, a gazillion in my hair and all over my bed! I seemingly ripped open my down feather comforter in my sleep. That mess is such a hassle to clean up.
-Dreams: I fall asleep trying my hardest to meet kale in a grassy field so we can run towards each other and just call into the grass and kiss. But that’s obviously too much to ask because I’ve been having dreams about the wrong people. My co-worker Ryan has been in my dreams almost every night. Whether we are just hanging out in a ball pool at a carnival or a party or making out and cuddling. It never strikes me as odd in my dream.. in fact I know that it’s not him in my dream (really hard to explain dreams wow) I felt like it was the right guy, (kale love) in my dream just the wrong face.. I don’t know…it’s wonky and stresses me out when I wake up but….I’m starting a new book that’s will hopefully give me some exercises to try to control my dreams and have more control over who I see what I do and who I kiss. No more dream cheating!
Mail: I got an amazing letter from Lindsey, a sexy postcard from Suzye (thank you guys so much) I got a postcard from my friend KA who just moved to Jackson Hole Wyoming. AND I got my new horizontal ID! Sa-weet!
Ok I’m done for now. Take care everyone!
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