busy busy

Well after thinking that I would have Saturday off, Dev (jerk from West5) called to remind me that I had agreed (about a month ago) that I would cover his shift tonight. I was totally down with working at West 5 as always, because I love it there! I got to see Jana, who got fired from Luna Park shortly after I started working there. And I also saw Gayle (the cook at Luna).

Whenever I work at the bar, compared to when I work at Luna, it's almost as if I'm not even working, I'm just hanging out with friends at a bar! Of course not drinking...but it's just so fun!

So anyway, My book I started last week is amazingly captivating. I can't put it down, nearly reading all 650 pages in 3 days. Lucky for me there's 3 more books the same size after I finish this one. :) I'm glad I have such a sweet escape.

Today I work until close at Luna *shrug*. My last shift there(Friday) I confronted the Host manager, Suzy and asked her face to face whether I had done some thing or not to make her specifically short with me. I see her yuckin' it up with the other employees there, laughing and joking around like humans do, but it's gotten very tough for me to overlook the fact that as soon as she looks in MY direction she glares and tells me to do something. So after getting a huge list of chores done, and being reprimanded like a 5 year old, I simply asked her if she had a moment to talk to me. She had a suspicious/curious look, but she complied and asked em whats up. Whenever I express myself to someone, especially an older woman that has been being mean to me, I revert back and immediately get teary-eyed because of my bunk childhood. I brought to her attention that i had been noticing that she's been specifically short with me starting at day ...3. and I asked her if there was something I specifically did to deserve it.. all she said in response was,"welcome to management life honey" then she was gone.

No. I've been a manager myself. and there really is no need. Some people there noticed her unfairness toward me and consoled me telling me (what i thought was jokingly until more and more people said it) "it's just because you are young and hot, and the is old and ugly." I'll take that. hehe.

shake it off.

So friday night after skating Alki all the way home, slipping into my Jammie's and curling in to bed with my glass o' wine and my book, my kitty-cat curled up next to me. I stroked his long, soft belly hair and then to my horror (and surprise) he latched onto my unsuspecting wrist chomped his fangs into the fragile flap of skin between my thumb and pointer finger, held my wrist with his front paw and started scratching my wrist with his back talons! I was in shock, I tried to shake him off but he only squeezed tighter.. I started to cry because a:)it hurt and b:)My feelings were hurt! finally he loosened his hold on my and a shoved him off the bed, where he sat meowing at me, like he was pissed at me for pushing him off the bed. I looked down at the burning bloody mess and there was a shit ton of stinging cat scratches all along my most important vein in my wrist. Thanks Houston.

Sheesh. Now people are going to think I have issues.

Ah heck, the sun is shining today, and I refuse to let Luna park, regardless who's working, get me down today. I LOVE LIFE

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Oh my. This week has flown right by. I got enrolled in my associates program at SOUTH on Monday, I'm now enrolled in English102, Math82, Journalism. I am going to try doing the online course for English, because the only times available where peek times to be working at the bar/cafe. Speaking of cafe; Luna Park basically ripped me off on hours (whats new?) the scheduled me to work tonight, Thursday from 5-close, which is the only day that I repeatedly remind every one there that i work at West 5 THURSDAYS ONLY. So i just told them.. that I can't work on Thursdays, I would have worked for some one this morn.. and then left in time to get to the bar by 5. but no takers, so I said I just wouldn't be able to make it. I worked at the bar tonight, found out that Toni is reading the same book as me.. well I'm only on book 1 of 4. and she's on the last one. So I'm uber excited to be able to have something in common with someone there and now have something to occupy the dull silent slow times. HAHA.

In other news, Julie Anderson came into the bar today and extended an invitation to a cocktail party at John Benet's (the owner of Luna Park). Mind you; the last time i spoke to Julie was when she stiffed me when i was doing chores around her shop and gardening for her for $15/HR but she decided I only deserved to be payed for the project. yeah anyways I mouthed off to her face and to Sandie, (who ended up telling her what i said..Karma's a bitch) So Julie and I haven't spoken since the beginning of August. I have to admit, I missed the lady. I was so close to writing her a letter of apology. Not having anything imp articular to be sorry for.. but i just hate it when there's bad blood. Bad news is that I wont be able to make it to the cocktail party (I miss those most about our friendship) haha. I have to work tomorrow from 2 until 11. oh well Ill have me own cocktail party!! I can't tear my face away from this book I've been reading anyways! I'm Reading "Twilight" by Stephanie Meyer. It's a love story about a girl and a vampire. Since I have zero romance in my life (applause please) I'm living Vicariously through Bella. Edward is so dreamy, I wish a magical, mysterious man would sweep me out of the way of an oncoming, potentially deadly, vehicle. I just finished the 1st season of Veronica Mars (AWESOME) Between Luna Park, West5, Grandma, school, Twilight, Veronica Mars and Love letter writing; My life is jam-packed with excitement.

That's right I said love letter writing.

Grandma Called me today, I was shopping downtown with mom. She assured me it wont be long and she'll be out there with us shopping and going to cafes again (our old weekend ritual). I miss her so much, she sounds great though, healthy, not too tired like she sounded when she first got sick. I mailed her the sweetest card I could collaborate last week, and she called to tell me she received it, and she started crying. She told me that she'd always have it, that it meant the world to her. I'm glad. I wrote some quotes that she once gave me, very uplifting and encouraging quotes. When I would stay the night at her house in Gig Harbor, before she sent me off to school in the morning, she would make me a lunch. I would be so eager to read the sticky note she put in there, always setting my mood straight to conquer high school. here's one of my faves:

"Set high standards for your life, love, creativity and wisdom. If you do

every day and every decade will be worth looking forward to!

Run, run, run! Feel the energy!

Love,

Grandma"

I think that was a day I have to run the mile for PE or something.. I don't know where she came up with all of them, but without fail every morning, I would have a scrumptious lunch, and an uplifting, strengthening tidbit on a pink sticky note. I love you SO much Grandma! Beat your cancer! I can't imagine the world without you in it..

off to read my book. Once I dry my eyes. Goodnight.

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hmmmm,

Last night vanessa spent the night. It was great to see her! she's been all up and down the west coast roadtripping before she's gotta start school again. Oh how I envy travelers, adventurerers(..?) This summer has been well, I don't want to say dissapointing, but very uneventful. OHmWELL. I will just ahve to work extra hard this year to get on the right track. Or just any track at all. I have been feeling very optomistic and hopeful, excited even, for starting school AS WELL AS working 2 jobs (and at the moment only having my legs, a long board, and a broken bike).

My Grandma sent me a BEAUTIFUL card. In the shape of a butterfly (a pink butterfly)! And arounf the outer edges it has lime green filmtrim. She put a check in there for $250 to help me with my fees to get my license reissued. And for my fees at the Library. I left my Ghost World soundtrack in Portland, and D.J. was supposed to send it to me but it never got here.. so I owed the library 28 bucks. :( I LOVE my grandma. She (i don't know if I've mentioned it yet) Is currently residing at Seattle Cancer Care Alligence. She got diagnosed with lukemia shortly after being hospitalized for passing out for no reason while working (as a house cleaner). I remeber the first time Max and I went in to see her. She had just found out what it was. And she hugged me hard and started crying.. I haven't seen grand,a cry since I was staying in Clevland OH. with her and her (now) ex-husband. He came home after Grandma and I had no clue where he was.. I was all of maybe 11 years old. When we did here him come home, He said hello and I yelled,"where have you BEEN Grandpa!?" no, not in a 'you're hiding something' kind of a way more like a 'wow we didnt hear from you all day and it's real late!' So any was when grandma and I came upstairs with the laundry Grandpa was sitting at the table.. he scolded me for asking him where he'd been and told me it was none of my damn business. Grandma tried to step in and tell him not to get after me about it.. that it's really what the two of us where wondering. He then started yelling at her (not obvious at all that he is trying to hide something) so grandma whipered for me to go to my room. It didn't do any good because I heard his voice booming through all of the 4 rooms that separated us. This finally quieted down and my door slowly opened, and grandma closed the door behind her. Her face was pink and her eyes were cherry red. She sat on my bed with me tried to say "I'm sorry." But her lips curled and her face scrunched, just like I looke when i cry. I hugged her, not fully undersdtanding then, that that was the day Grandma found out her husband was seeing someone else. anyway.. that's the onyl other time I've seen Grandma cry. But to wrap this all up, she's sounding so great, and hopefully I can get some time to visit her soon. It's been about 30 days since her Bone marrow transplant. She's going to beat Cancer!!! :)

anyways. I'm off to a 10 hour shift a Luna Park. ahhh, I am optomistic. I have a pulled calf muscle from skating Alki stretch the last 2 nights. so this might not be so fun. I am optomistic.

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what is my deal!!?

Dear Diary,
(since I'm literally the ONLY one reading this)
It feels lately as though I have to try REALLY hard to please people. It take a lot out of me, and it's something I've never felt I had to do before. when I'm working at West5 everyone sorta seems angry, so naturally I always want everyone to be smiling, so I put an extra skip in my step, rub peoples backs and even tell jokes (no one ever laughs). Ugh, I'm joust not going to try as hard, and just do my own smiley thing. I just want every one to like me. I always thought this was automatic. Hmm. Well anyway, Monica and I went to Lakewood and some surrounding beaches and took pictures. I got real artsy and last night I was able to upload some good ones onto back2thestars.deviantart.com and I got allot of comments and favourites in the first 2 hours! I'm really excited to start school again, it's been a while. well, I'm at the Library, I have to go mail a couple things to people I love. More on life later.
xo.

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:)

pet/house sitting lately. Darby old and sad to look after. Her back legs hardly work for her at all. I have to carry her up and down the 4 stairs so she can go outside and potty, and then she just stands there and looks up at me with her leaky old doggy eyes as thought to ask me,"why am I here?" She waddles around the front yard peeing and sometimes her limpy legs get peed on. sometimes she pees on me when i pick her up to carry her up the stairs. She's such a sweetheart, but Sandie really should consider Darby's quality of life at this old age. I took some photos of the pets and I'm going to run over to Bartells and make some prints and leave them for Sandy as a gift. She DID stock the fridge with buds for me while she's gone. :)I'm in love with Pierre, Sandie's cat, who is as old as I am, but still very sturdy and full of kitten spunk. I went into the bedroom yesterday after I had just mad the bed, and I noticed a bib lump under the blanket.. IT WAS PIERRE!! he snuggled his cute little self right under the blanky, SO CUTE! Dakota is full of spunk and life too, he is very old as well but not quite up there with Darb's. Dakota protects me while I sleep and runs around with Pierre. He's my buddy, I want to take him for walks, but i feel like taking Darby's buddy out of the house and leaving her behind would stress her out too bad.

In other news, I don't have to work at all until Thursday, so that's neat. What's not neat is that I invited a boy from work over to watch a Bob Saget Comedy Central special with me at Sandie's last night, He brought some weed and beer, and I got tired fast. I was kinda hinting that I was tired and it was my bedtime, But this guy didn't show any interest in leaving. He had that 'look' in his eye. Usually guys wont hit on me because I'm "intimidating" but this guy grabbed me and went right for it.. I dodged him and scooted far away from him on the couch and he was all, "oh c'mon don't resist me." I told him this isn't why I invited him over.. and he started telling me that he wasn't leaving till I kissed him. I told him it wasn't gunna happen, and he started getting feisty and he held my arms down and fucking tried to kiss me! Can you believe that? I couldn't. I grabbed the closest thing to me, happened to be a beer, and I poured it on him. I was pretty waisted and pissed off I don't really remember what happened next.. I opened the front door and went upstairs till I heard him leave. I have never had some one force themselves on me like that before. It sucked. I woke up feeling so dirty and violated (and hungover).

On a lighter note, I got to hang out with my family last night! I never get to do that so it's always amazing when I get to see all my beautiful siblings. we had a huge dinner (I forgot to take home my leftovers :( ) Emilie and I took pictures of ourselves. Then my little niece Kaitlyn and I started playing around with the web cam (she loves to have her picture taken) It turned into a huge crazy photo shoot, My sisters Samantha and Emilie both got in on the action, and so did my big brother Max. It was great fun.. see for yourself!

OH! and lately.. Elvis Presley has my heart. I have been listening to "Suspicious Minds" over and over and over. And at work i spent upwards of 7 bucks playing it on the jukebox.

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Home sick.

The man Burns tomorrow night and from the photos I've seen so far, Burning man is as gorgeous as ever. I can't help but think what everyone is up to over there in BRC. Running around in the Poppy Field that, by night, turning into a flock of UFO's.

Oh how i wish I was there instead of here. What an alternate universe, the ultimate get away. I have to be at work in about an hour, and while I'm waiting tables, refilling water glasses and busing tables, I will be completely absent minded due to bubbling thoughts of the life-changing experiences happening right this moment. I'm thrilled to say that I 100% plan on being on the playa this time next year, I just needed to take this year off to save up my money, and dive face first into school again. I feel so optimistic about my near and distant future. Evry breath I breathe is elevating me today. Possibly because of reading the Burner's Blogs. Possibly, too, feeling the complete and utter chaos of the energy in BRC. I can't wait to go next year, Documenting with glorious photos of my own to share. Well Here I go off to work now.
OH!! And thanks to Grama I got up the courage to take care of my Drivers licence bull crap, So I now have SR22 Insurance and only have to pay it for 1 more year.. then I'm off Scott-free. So now all I need is a vehicle to get me from here to there. I miss my poopsies. I love my grandma so much. She seems to be doing great. (on her 25Th day after her bone marrow transplant. She's staying very close to me, and my brother, at the Seattle cancer care alliance! I miss her so, but sadly haven't been able to visit.)

wish me luck.

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Ahh, (sigh of refief). I just got home from work. I walked all the way from admiral and avalon to sw seattle and california ave. in the rain AND wearing my comfy pants adn slippers. (comfy pants are very baggy, thus now very wet). I have to work again tomorrow morning.then dog sitting this weekend for Sandie. Her dogs are very old, and one of them (Darby) is so old she can hardly walk, it's so sad to watch her wabble around. I have to carry her back legs up the stairs (cuz they don't work well at all) and last time i dog sat for Sandie, Darby peed on my leg while helping her up the stairs. I will miss bumper shoot :( between working at Luna and West 5 and sitting doggies, I will definately be a zombie. BUT! the good thing is that this all means I have money coming in my direction, and it's about friggin time, I forgot what it's like to have money saved up, I've been livin off poket lint for quite a while. So my stress is getting better.. I'm not feeling too bad about Jo anymore. But I DO miss suzye and Naomi and Lindsey. Lindsey is gunna be leaving soon.. and I never got to say goodbye! :(
I just watched the last episode of Season 3 of CSI now this means that I am depressed because when Im not working, I like to read and watch CSI. now I can only read until i get the next season. :( I need breaks, I cant read for a long period of time because i space out and will have read an entire chapter only to realize i have no idea what happened!

Well, I'm off to edit some photography. I tooke some good ones this weekend.

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